It’s sometimes funny how much we can complain about how complicated relationships can be. This tip is all about keeping things simple: Don’t kiss your friends. In order for you to do this you actually have to define what you would do physically with your friends. Do the two you hang out with other friends? Spend time together alone? Go shopping? Cook dinner for each other? Hold hands? Snuggle on the couch? I don’t kiss my friends, hold hands with them or snuggle with them. These things, among a whole host of other things, are reserved for one special person. That’s right, just one. Therefore, if you see me with a man who is holding my hand and then wraps his arms around me for a long hug and a kiss, this man would be my boyfriend.
How confusing would it be if I did these things with every handsome man with whom I spent my time? The answer to that is also simple, yet is what makes things complicated: heartbreak. If you’re not serious about dating a guy enough to call him your “boyfriend,” the acts of kissing and getting physical with him tell him that you are. The same goes for him. If you’re falling for a guy and yet he doesn’t think enough of you to call you his “girlfriend,” why would you want to get your heart even more entangled by kissing him? Girl, if he’s not in love with you for the woman you are he’s not going to fall in love with you for your kiss. So, don’t think you’re going to kiss him and win him over (that’s a post for another day). Plus, if he kisses you and then says you’re just “friends,” you have to wonder how many other “friends” he is kissing when you’re not around. By the way, the same thing goes for you.
Here’s how it usually goes. You hang out with a guy, you enjoy spending time with him and you love talking with him. You look forward to seeing him and spending time with him. You guys go out a few times, you’re giddy, he sits really close to you, calls and sends frequent text messages and email. Finally, the two of you stand face-to-face, he pulls you close to embrace you and then kisses you. A few days later he says, “I told you I just wanted to be friends.” Unfortunately, every girl I know has been through this exact scenario, including myself. I’ve also had a handful of guy friends who had been dealt that blow from the girls they were dating. It’s certainly something that both genders do.
Some of you might say, “What’s the big deal? It’s only a kiss.” Okay. When you’re on your date be up front about it. As your date leans in to kiss you, be sure to be honest with him in advance by saying, “Your kiss doesn’t mean anything to me,” (yes, that sounds harsh, but how can you tell this truth nicely?). Then you can watch how that destroys his mood. That the person you’re kissing means something to you is what makes kissing so great. Without that connection between you both, your kisses will be disappointing anyway. So, why bother?
Of course, if you would like to complicate things go right ahead. It’s called “sending mixed signals.” Before you do that it would be wise to consider how crappy you feel when someone sends you mixed signals. You can also allow yourself to fall into the trap of his mixed signals. If that’s the case, be sure to tell your friends in advance so they can be on standby when your heart breaks. The other option is, if you’re interested in a guy, get to know him well before you cross the line and kiss him. You owe it to yourself and your future to get to know a guy really well so you can determine if he’s a guy to whom you can or want to give your heart. Until you know, keep it simple and hold on to your kiss.