Relationship Tip #8: Avoid Alcohol On Your First Date

There’s a reason why driving under the influence of alcohol is against the law:  it impairs your judgement.  Why should your dating life be any different?  I mean, we are talking about your life here, aren’t we?

All hail alcoholic beverages – the most widely-accepted social lubricant!  A shy guy comes out of his shell; one who is up-tight loosens up; if he has little personality, suddenly he’s the life of the party; if he’s afraid to speak to a woman, he’s got new-found courage to approach her; affection is abundant!  “I love you, man!”  What you’re left with when he sobers up is a silent, anal-retentive clam who can hardly carry a conversation with you much less give you a hug to say, “Hello.”

What I just described is the extreme, of course.  You have to really consider, though, why you or your date would require consuming an alcoholic beverage on the date in the first place.  More than likely it’s to ease any social tension because being with someone for the first time whom you don’t know can be a bit awkward initially, right?  Really tell the truth about it and you’ll find it’s simply someone trying to be something that he or she is not.  Add to that, it’s someone trying to make something happen that otherwise would not without the alcohol to get over the weirdness of being with someone new.  That’s tough for anyone to admit.  By the way, there’s no way you can say with all honesty that after you’ve had a glass of wine or two you are really being your true self.

When you consume alcohol on a date, your defenses are down.  That means you might say “yes” when you would normally say “no” to __________<fill in the blank>.  Think back on some past dating experiences when you woke up thinking, “Ugghhh!  I can’t believe I did that!”  What was it?  Did you say something stupid?  Sleep with a guy?  Go somewhere you usually wouldn’t?  Drink too much and drive yourself home?  For crying out loud, I’m famous for doing and saying stupid, annoying, offensive things that I regret even when I’m sober.  When sitting across from someone I barely know, the last thing I want to do is fuel that fire with a good, alcohol-induced buzz.

I can just imagine the response from readers saying, “Chrissy, that’s no fun.  You can’t expect me not to have a glass of wine or two with dinner.”  Oh, yes I can.  All I’m saying is take some time to get to know your suitor before you add alcoholic beverages to the mix.  If you really want to live on the edge, you can even wait a few dates.  Should you find that impossible to do, you have bigger problems than just your dating life.

Get over the awkwardness of a first date simply by acknowledging that it’s awkward.  Talk with your date authentically about what makes you nervous and ask him the same.  You’ll find that you can get past that initial uneasiness more quickly by putting each other at ease.  Honest communication like this will also open the flow of conversation so you can really get to know one another to determine whether or not this is a relationship you’d like to pursue or not.  Cheers!


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